Ask The Nest #2: How to Move On From Family


Jane Poe, Advice Columnist Alias

Hello and thanks for writing!

Pain caused by family members is one of the most complicated to approach because we are bound to them by blood and a shared household(s). If it’s physical abuse, I urge you to remove yourself from that situation as quickly as possible by speaking out- whether that be talking to a member who isn’t involved to remove the harmful individual or contacting social workers at AHS who can help. If you’re referencing verbal or psychological attacks of any sort, I believe the same advice applies if you’re frequently and intensely being yelled at. However, if this is more of a one-time instance in which a family member or several hurt you through their action or speech, I would recommend some other ideas.

Your goal is to move on so maybe take some time to recollect yourself by taking some space away from these people. Moving on is, in a lot of ways, like grief- at times you may be angry at the person, miss them, find solace without them or all at the same time. What you really need to think about is if you want to live without them- it seems your mind has been made to carry on but emotions can change and that’s OK. Maybe try taking a second look at the root of the problem that provoked this need to get away from your family and presume whether or not this conflict will haunt the rest of your relationship (if you choose to reconnect) or wither away over time.

Either way, you know your situation the best so I’ll leave the pondering to you. In any case, refute against any future instances that hurt you! Even if from people who are close to you (such as family), it’s not healthy nor beneficial to stay in toxic relationships. 

So, overall, trust yourself! If you do choose to move on, do so maturely and confidently- there are likely much brighter things to come!

I hope this helps! Remember that you’re awesome and have a lovely day!

  • Jane Poe