Welcome to a brand new series called “Ask The Nest”- a place for advice and discussion- generated by the AHS Falcons. If you want advice or have a topic to discuss, please drop by the Media Center and leave us a note in the collection box! Advice will come from our very own, Jane Poe (a clever alias of course), who is a student, staff writer/staff member here at The Nest. Enjoy, and you never know- your problem or point might be discussed next!

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Hello and thanks for writing!

Before I get into the love advice aspect of your note, I think it’s important to tackle the first part, where you mention feeling “insecure” and “lost.” As high schoolers- we are naturally faced with insurmountable amounts of pressure- we must work hard, receive great grades, take Regents/ AP/IB tests in the spring, and submit college applications above all when senior year strikes. Yet, I am not so sure that is why most teens you’ll meet feel insecure. More so, it has to do with this idea of “finding yourself,” something that is not so easily accomplished with the expectations I mentioned earlier weighing down on us. Insecurity isn’t something that can easily go away, of course, but there are ways to feel self-confident and proud without that cloud of doubt constantly hanging over your head.

For example, make time for the things you love and immerse yourself with people who care about you and who will hype you up. You mention being “tired of being alone” so don’t be! Forming strong connections with people takes time and want on both sides but if you’re willing to harvest these friendships, I think the other party will be more than receptive. And this goes for people you already know as well. Maybe talk more to a friendly acquaintance you met in science or hang out (Covid-safe!) with that awesome girl you mentioned in your response. Don’t accept the pain you referenced- avenge it by being in the most positive mental place possible! 

As for this girl you’re in love with . . . the cliché answer would be to “go for it!” but I think this really depends on where you both are. So read her signs! Does she often sit near you, want to hang out, compliment you, find an excuse to talk to you? If so, I definitely spot some chemistry that you could try building upon because chances are, she likes you too! It all depends on the vibes you receive from her so take notice when you’re around her and form your judgments off of that- after all, you know her better than I do. And if you’re already in a relationship with her-woohoo! Just remember that you still have to be attentive and put in effort to make sure you’re in the same place.

In terms of letting your guard down, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to be guarded because it leaves more for someone close to you to uncover and likely admire when they get to know you better. Rather, it’s when you are a firmly shut novel (in contrast to an “open book”) when those connections start becoming difficult. Confiding in someone, even if the tiniest anecdote about yourself, makes your connection to that person stronger and their interest in you greater. Hence why ice-breaker activities often ask for someone’s fun fact/favorite thing in addition to their name- so that the class can feel a little more connected knowing traits about each other that not everybody is aware of. If opening up is hard for you, I don’t recommend going from 0 to 100 straight away in terms of sharing, but little pieces here and there will surely make your s/o get a better picture of who you are and, in the end, benefit you both. 

 I hope this helps! Remember you’re awesome and have a lovely day!

• Jane Poe